Okay so I’ve just spent the best part of three hours writing a draft for only half of my essay on Shakespeare, and it’s been an annoyance to say the least. But one of the next things on the list of stuff to do tonight was to write a blog post that was perhaps a little more substantial than the previous one about Uranus, which personally I do find quite interesting – but that’s just me. Today’s rant, again from the depths of absolute boredom, is about the shit part of YouTube.
So basically, 99% of you will probably know what I’m talking about when I say, a lot of YouTube is just utter tripe. In an attempt to amuse myself, last night I spent the best of what would be 2 hours searching YouTube for something decent to watch. To be fair, I found a few decent things (How to get away with stealing, and a dodgy/creepy as fuck PS3 advert), but the rest was just so abysmal it’s unreal. So I’d like to dedicate a half hour of my time writing a blog post about the shit bits of YouTube, how to spot them, and best of all, avoid them.
Obviously my perception of shit will be a little bit (but hopefully not much) different to yours, so some things I mention you might like instead, if so, that’s cool. But one of the first things on my list that I’d really like to point out, is the completely excessive number of “let’s plays” on the internet. The general idea, is that if you record these videos, you are recording yourself play a video game with a running commentary by yourself, a few friends, or sometimes even no commentary at all. What’s the fucking point? Alright, watching a few videos on Tobuscus’ games channel, or watching the yogscast run through a few tekkit snippets is highly amusing. But most of the let’s play videos on YouTube aren’t nearly as good as those. I do not want to watch some random kid such as myself, with average skill, mediocre comedic value, and an annoying voice and microphone, talk about how amazing the game he is playing is. It’s just not fucking fun. The difference between a shit video and a good one, is the good video has content that is worth watching and keeps your attention, you can play a game, have an entertaining commentary, decent audio quality and nice editing, and it will constitute to a great experience, but with a mere recording and crappy overlay (microphone buzz is highly shit, stop buzzing please), why waste space on YouTube’s servers to keep these many hundreds of episodes uploaded that get maybe 10 views each at most.
The video above is in German, so it’s funny listening to them speak (I adore german voices, it’s hilarious), but ultimately the video is so boring, if it were in English, I’d have thumbs downed that shit like it was a hot iron bar.I do not mean to offend anybody who does these “let’s play”s? If you enjoy doing what you do, then that’s wonderful, but please bear in mind that the large majority of YouTube viewers actually couldn’t give a shit about it. And so, the rant continues.
Next up on the list of shit YouTube, is those crappy amateur nightcore videos. This mainly consists of 11-12 year old girl’s channels who have accidentally opened their older sibling’s torrented Sony Vegas and discovered the pitch shift features. The result, is a really strange sped up version of a tune, sometimes Pop, sometimes dance. They sound annoying and whilst I am generally open to those types of music, it offers so value to me what so ever! There isn’t much else to say about nightcore, sometimes people pick interesting songs to shift, and the result is admirable, but in most cases, it’s a crappy song, shifted so that it sounds even worse, then some sentimental anime picture slideshow is whipped into the mix.
Here is an example of this shit.
The original version of the above video was nice, but what is this chipmunk shit? FUCK THIS WHAT THE FUCK. Type in Nightcore, sort by upload date, and you’ll see the amount of crap that comes up. About 20% of it is worth listening to, but I can’t vouch for it being an improvement on the original song, which proposes the question. Why bother?
Well next on my list is the videos that claim to be funny, when they are incredibly annoying. You’ve probably seen lots of these videos. They usually come in the form of horrible music, boring past-their-time gifs, and really crappy Movie Maker editing. The dislike bar is the only interesting thing about most of these videos. Yes, “If you laugh, you lose”. I’m sorry, if I wanted not to laugh, I would avoid thinking about the arrangement of the video, because if anything, that’s the funniest joke. Take a look if you dare, the music will probably deter you, oh, and hit the dislike button on your way out. Thank you!
So I think I should leave my rant for today here. The morale of this post would be, avoid clicking on this shit. You’ve seen some examples, you’ve seen how trashy they are. Enjoy your life! Once again, thank you beautiful people for reading my blog post.
A Very Disturbed Child 